i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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