I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
