I bet he comes in French.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
