He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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