So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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