I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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