I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
