**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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