Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
my poor anus
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
