what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
