it wasn't lemon gatorade
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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