Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
