is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
