The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
