Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
