...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
