I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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