Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
