Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
