I'm eating all of the evidence.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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