tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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