I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
