So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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