I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
