plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
