it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
