I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
