mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
