so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
