He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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