I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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