I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
