someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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