Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize