i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
