there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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