I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize