Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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