Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize