people are starting to question the shark bite story
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
