I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
