I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize