glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
