fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
