when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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