dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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