so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
