that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
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