And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
