so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
