I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
