I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
