the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
