How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
