I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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