Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
