How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
