i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We are two peas in an std pod
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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