Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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